Monday, October 25, 2021

Fwd: Need a laugh?




https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/6f6b2305-f6ec-4e29-bcb5-47ea650b4cc9.jpg

It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub
It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house
The difference is staggering
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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/29241222-3113-4e53-affd-56cbc87a8f43.jpg

Turns out it was a marble in the ashtray...

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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/4498a702-331d-4284-8733-0f8412d8b875.jpg
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People who wonder
whether the glass is half empty or half full
are missing the point.
The glass is refillable.

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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/4b186e4a-d84b-4bca-8773-d901dce50a34.jpg
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*They say every piece of chocolate eaten
shortens your life by two minutes.
I've done the math.
Seems I died in 1537.
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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/a9b1d6b8-18ab-4bf0-b3bc-1439270dde64.jpg
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I got myself a seniors' GPS.
Not only does it tell me how to get to my destination,
it tells me why I wanted to go there.

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Most people don't think I'm as old as I am
until they hear me stand up.
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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/b194ad2f-e76a-4d31-822a-d402667f40a0.jpghttps://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/b194ad2f-e76a-4d31-822a-d402667f40a0.jpg

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Had I known in March
that it was the last time I would be in a restaurant
I would have ordered the dessert.

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https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/dd98b0dd-6408-40bb-a87d-9c77f4d1c8b7.jpg
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I don't always go the extra mile,
but when I do
it's because I've missed my exit....

 https://mcusercontent.com/b228305916af0e4aea65c2d87/images/6663c600-668b-464e-9c6b-fc050263df2f.jpg





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